Tonight I experienced one of the nastiest parts of LA life. In fact, it was one of the reasons I moved across the country: traffic. I travelled the 27.1 miles from my house in Santa Monica to Glendale to my friend Amanda's house. This trip took over 2 hours, and 4 different freeways. I sat in my car (luckily a hybrid, so I didn't waste much gas), I got an ache in my back, I listened to a sweet mix CD I had made earlier twice, and although I don't have a picture of it, I saw a guy vomit out the passenger side window of a car. In honor of this soul crushing experience, I have composed a list of things that one can do in 2 hours besides travel less than 30 miles in LA rush hour traffic.
-Drive the 95 miles from Sacramento to San Francisco at almost any time of day.
-Watch and then discuss in depth David O. Russell's comedy Flirting With Disaster
-Watch 2 whole episodes of The Wire, the best show on television.
-Watch the fucking Kings blow an easy road game in fucking New Orleans.
-Teach yourself Photoshop, then use it to comp a picture of your group leader in Israel eating a gross candy thing at the Western Wall.
-Read one entire article in The New Yorker.
-Snort an entire 8 ball of cocaine off of the CD cases of Use Your Illusion 1 and 2, while listening to every song on both of those albums.
-Wake up late on a day off, masturbate, fall back asleep, wake up again, masturbate again.
-Shop for, assemble, bake, and eat that lasagna that everyone loves.
-Play 9 holes at most municipal golf courses.
-Read 1 or 2 pages of a Thomas Pynchon novel, give up, use those pages to wipe your ass.
-Order, eat, defecate a Chipotle burrito.
-Wait for the G train at 3:30AM.
Feel free to add your own in the comments.
2 comments:
throw camel poo
You can take a whole pack of rolling papers, an oz of weed and try to roll the longest joint ever.
Post a Comment